Monday, 30 May 2016

Being Introverted: It isn't a bad thing

"You're so quiet" is something that I'm reminded of every time I meet someone new. What I don't like about hearing that sentence, is that it's always said in a negative way. I'm without a doubt an introvert, and have been labelled as shy for as long as I can remember. I didn't choose to be so shy, and if I could be more extroverted, I would. What I want to remind you is that being an introvert is not a bad thing.



The people closest to me see me in a different light to those I just met or feel awkward around. I guess I can say they see the "real me". I choose to only show the real me to people who I feel comfortable with. I also know that this is the case with a lot of my friends who are also introverts. It's not that I'm choosing not to speak to someone, I just won't say anything if I don't have anything to say.  I recently started a new job, and had a great conversation with one of my coworkers. He never once came up to me to remind me of how quiet I am, but instead just talked to me. I happily conversed back. After later telling me people have told him that I was so quiet, I just explained that I don't usually start conversations. That's not to say that I don't enjoy a good chat with someone. I, being an introvert, had a great time talking to him, being an extrovert- even though I didn't initiate anything. I love a good conversation, but starting small talk with when I don't have anything to say is just something I don't do, as well as all the other introverts out there. This isn't because we tell ourselves not to, it's built in our personalities. It was refreshing to see someone understand that just because I'm quiet, it doesn't mean that I just choose not to speak to anyone. As stupid as it might sound, I really appreciated the effort and sympathy.

More often than not, I don't fit in, or hear some bad things about me for being quiet. This is something I have come to accept since shyness is seen as a bad thing. It's honestly just a lack of confidence sometimes, but it's never seen that way. Introverts generally find socializing very exhausting, and as much as we'd like to participate more, we find it really hard to. You can definitely see the difference in my personality when I'm in a relaxed place with people I'm comfortable around apposed to being in a hectic environment with people I don't know very well. It all depends on the situation and company.

I just finished reading a book called Quiet, which is great for learning to accept your introverted self. We have a lot of good qualities, but forget that when all we are being told is that we're too quiet. I really recommend this book to any introverts who are constantly being shamed- or shaming themselves for not participating more in social settings.

Being an introvert is not bad. Being an extrovert is not bad either. They are simply personality traits. Being introverted is something apart of me that I can't change, and won't change for the approval of others. Remember that there is nothing wrong with you, it is a normal characteristic to have. For extroverts reading: try starting a conversation with a quiet person. They might appreciate the effort despite them being shy, and you'll be surprised to see how much they have to say.




8 comments:

  1. I understand this post so much. I have always been an introvert, and to be honest, when people ask me why I'm so shy it just makes me more introverted. People think that we just need to be reminded not to be shy or something! But thriving off of having alone time and reserving your true self for people you are comfortable with is not a bad thing at all. I really want to check out Quiet now :)

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    1. Definitely, alone time is something we need. I find myself exhausted after socializing for a while. You'll love Quiet! You can borrow it from me, if you're not totally against e-readers! Haha :)

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  2. I'm shy as well as an introvert. I don't really see a problem, when people get to know me I open up but at the end of the day I have to make sure I have plenty of 'me' time to feel refreshed. Sometimes I try to challenge myself by hanging out with people more I don't see a problem with being introverted. Just the people who don't bother to get to know us properly.
    :(

    Sally - DiagonSally

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    1. I wish people were more understanding, I'm constantly viewed as unsocial when I want to take some time for myself.

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  3. I really need to read that book! This is such a wonderful post and speaks so much truth. I'm naturally very shy but over the years I've forced myself to "be more out there", sometimes with great results and sometimes inducing anxiety! xx

    http://www.thatnewdress.com

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